Whenever I hear shocking news, my reaction never gets as big as people expect it to be. I actually surprise myself and the people around me at how calm I get when something crazy happens. Sometimes, a little too calm. Maybe that’s how I freak out. By being calm. Oxymoronic, I know.
So when Orianna comes into my “office” and blasts me with the news of her pregnancy, I kept my composure even though my mind was whirring with questions of what-ifs, who the father is, how did it happen and blasting OMGs jumbled in between.
“Say something, Ana,” Orianna looked at me with watery eyes.
“Josh?” I guessed.
She sniffed and nodded, looking down. Orianna has been dating Joshua on and off for a year or so. He is based in America so it’s mostly long distance. I have never met Joshua but from what Ori speaks of him, he seems like a pretty intelligent man. However, his history precedes that fact. Joshua has a 10 year-old son from his previous girlfriend and as if that is not baggage enough, he also suffered from sex addiction. The man has clearly made some bad decisions, especially in the bedroom, which is probably why Ori isn’t super stoked to be carrying his child.
“He sure has some strong ones,” I joked. Orianna narrowed her eyes at me. “Too soon? Sorry,” I shrugged. I told you, I have a weird way of coping with shocking news.
She gave a defeated sigh and rubbed her temples. “Seriously, Ana. I don’t know what I’m going to do!”
“Have you told anyone yet? When did you find out? And how did it happen? Weren’t you being safe?” I blurted. There it is. A normal reaction.
“Um, you’re the only one I’ve told. Well, other than Josh. And I found out last week,” Orianna finally took a seat on the guest bed. “We were being safe… until our last time. It was in the heat of the moment and it was really, really stupid. I took the morning-after pill but it obviously didn’t work.”
I shook my head. “So how did Josh take it?” I stood up from my chair and sat down next to her.
“He wants to keep it. He offered to take care of it so it doesn’t get in the way of me pursuing my career. He said to fly over to the California and have the baby there so it will be a citizen and he’ll raise it and I can do whatever I want,” Orianna explained, frowning. “But I can’t be a mother who is never there for her child. It will play on my conscience. I won’t have that.”
I paused to gather my thoughts. It was strange to call the baby an ‘it’. “Well… in this situation, there is no right and wrong, I think. Whatever decision you make, you need to be able to live with it. I suppose it’s between living with the thought that your child will live neglected of a mother or, for lack of a better word, killing a human life. Of course, the question is whether an embryo is a human life. Because if we were going right into the technicalities, the egg and sperm are alive. But aren’t considered human. Together, though, they form an embryo, another living organism. So, really, at which point does this ‘organism’ be considered a hu—”
“Stop!” Orianna interrupted, shaking her head. “You are not making this any easier, Ana. I’m getting more and more confused by the minute!”
“Sorry,” I took a deep breath. “It’s a lot to take in. I just think that either way… it’s not looking good. You’re essentially making a decision of the lesser of two evils. I mean, it is a huge responsibility to be a mother. You need to be sure to have your priorities straight. Of course, I have no doubt that you will be a great mother… but the most important person to believe this is you. I think in time, you will come to believe it. But now, you are simply not ready. That is not to say that you won’t be able to live up to it once the baby comes along, should you decide to keep it.”
“There are just so many things I want to do and I know this sounds incredibly selfish but I would have to give up a whole lot if I kept this baby,” Orianna started tearing up again.
“Well, that is the sacrifice you would need to make for the position you have put yourself in. And it is not to say you still cannot live a rich and fulfilling life with a child to take care of. Sure your priorities will have to change. But really, all you have to do is work harder to achieve the things that you want to achieve. A baby should not come in the way of that if you’re determined enough,” I said. “In my opinion, opting out of having this baby is simply the easy way out. Having said that, it does make a difference who the father of the baby is. I know Josh isn’t a bad person… but he does have his issues. I’m not sure if he’s the ideal person you want to raise your child with. Not to mention, you will be tied to him for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not.”
Orianna bit her lip. “You’ve got a point… Still, it was really kind of him to offer to raise it though. I’m just afraid if I do keep it and do a bad job raising it that it’ll grow up to be unhappy or broken or—”
“You’re making a self-fulfilling prophecy, that isn’t fair,” I interjected.
“On the other hand,” Orianna continued, “I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if I got rid of it. It’ll probably eat away at me that I could’ve had a son or daughter… not to mention I’d heighten my risk of getting children in the future if I went through an abortion. Gosh, Ana. What on earth am I going to do?” She cried out, exasperated.
“I can’t make this decision for you, Ori,” I told her quietly. “The only thing I can really help you with is to make sure you see all angles to this situation you’ve landed yourself into so you can make a calculated decision.”
Orianna looked up to me and cried. I put my arms around her and hugged her tight in hopes of giving her the comfort and support she so obviously needed.
It was undoubtedly a tough decision. Of course, life is all about making tough decisions. A lot of times, people always say that they ‘have no choice’. I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement. There is always a choice. The choices may not be ideal, but they are still choices nonetheless. Granted, Orianna’s choices are both unfavorable but it was lead from a bad choice she made in the first place before getting to where she is right now.
Lesson learned. Either you stay focused in thinking of the consequences before committing an action you may possibly regret, or you’d have to live with the bad choices you’ve made. Given the situation, what would you do?